When your heart is troubled and grace for the day seems depleted, you wonder why God has left you. Was he there when suddenly your life pathway turned rocky as your sick child rips at your heart, and the mess of the world weighs on your shoulders? Why does love hurt so much? A Mother’s Anguished Love For Her Sick Child.
Thinking about the journey ahead, I penned this little poem for our pastor’s wife a few days after the family moved to Toronto to attend Sick Kids for their then 5-year-old son’s bone marrow transplant surgery. I emailed the scribble to her on February 14, 2017. Here is the link to her public Facebook group called Jeremiah’s Bone Marrow Transplant where you can see their journey through Tamara’s detailed posts.
The journey continues, well over 50 days now.
A mother so full of anguished love
As her heart brushes with fear of the unknown.
You wish you could take the pain and suffering
That a child in his innocence knows nothing of.
But you, my dear one, will take it gladly
You would even die for your child if you could
The innocent don’t deserve to hurt you say.
Like the man in the Bible who let go of his son
He journeyed the road up the treacherous mountain
With questions of why piercing the heart with blades of steel.
Why must you walk this road alone fearful of death and dying?
Who would leave a child on the table of sacrifice?
When will this turmoil end?
What will happen if he does not return?
How can a mother let go when the future so unknown?
Anguished love rips your soul.
Where can a mother find the courage for the moment
Except in the arms of a loving Father above
He knew the pain you would feel.
But you still ask how could this be your perfect plan?
Your road is rocky and pain pricks your feet and heart
You cried the tears alone bending at the knee.
Until faith arose that your child so sweet
Will come out all right.
You rise before the dawn to face the fear of the unknown
As you face another day of letting go
And fill your soul with the comfort of the One who knows your name.
He calls your name with eyes of innocence
And the mother’s sweet words bring the calm.
Do not fear of what the future holds
For a cloud of witnesses vouch for you
And love surrounds you with his presence.
Where the waters calm and the sun shines through.
He will make a way where there seems no way
You are safe to let go for he will return to you.
All fear is gone and peace has come
Look and see who carried you through the storm.
Let fear go and let God work his plan
You are in the palm of his hand.
Trusting you are encouraged today, regardless of where you are in the pathway of life. God has never left you whether you feel it or not. Your prayers and comments are appreciated for Pastor Mika and Tamara and his family, especially for healing for Jeremiah.