In the spring of 2015, when my mother’s health declined, she ended up in the hospital waiting for space in a long-term care facility. During the many visits to her bedside, one night I had a dream of a faded dinner plate with a grey line through the middle. I meditated about the meaning. And later, when mother moved to a health care facility and her mind ravaged by dementia, she needed caretakers for her most basic needs. An interpretation formed in my mind.
I thought about life and the way we all age. Mother had lived a long life of good and bad times, and was now well into her eighties. Having to receive care was a hard thing for an independent woman. Living life in good health and spreading joy to others, she had served dinners on a plate like the one in my dream.
A faded dinner plate with a hairline crack down the middle had served its purpose, perhaps for decades. Just like mother’s mind was slipping, though she still recognized her children, she no longer served meals or held meaningful talks. An old plate had gone through years of wear and tear by hand-washing with a scrubbing brush, and later, in the dishwasher with harsh chemicals.
During heavy use, the scuff-marked white plate had slipped from the hands of the user taking a tumble on a table. The plate remained intact, but a hairline crack appeared, at first on one side of the plate, but a longer grey line soon set in cutting across the middle. A cracked dinner plate still had life, but the purpose had changed. Perhaps, keep it as a timeless treasure.
Fragility of cracked dinnerware
If you abuse bone china by improper handling, or use it for any unintended purpose, it can shatter into the hands of the user. It may fall on the floor with shards bouncing, or it could split in two.
Mother had fallen several times but continued to live alone, but this last time she’d been laying on the kitchen floor overnight when the caretaker found her. Her life had a hairline crack that required full-time care with onset of dementia. As family, we tried to bring clarity to her communication with caretakers, especially since she didn’t speak English.
Mother’s life had consisted of service to family and friends over the years. With her sunny disposition, she brought joy to everyone who knew her. And even in her dementia state, her laughter lit up a room.
Other uses
An old dinner plate could still have purpose with different uses if we reinvent and create other artistic uses. Or use with other dishes. Mom brought joy to others in the nursing home, even with her language barrier and dementia.
Superglue may repair the damage, but its outward appearance will change forever. You can display it for others to view, but it may never, or should never, hold any food. The plate became fracturable. It may even carry bacteria in the cracks or in the toxins used in the filler or glues.
Visits with mom
Every time I visited mom, I was careful what words I spoke as her thinking had changed. She lived in memories, so I agreed with her whether the thoughts appeared plausible. Words are food to the soul, but the vessel into which we pour them may be delicate. Words can bring healing and comfort, or mess with the hearer’s mind and emotions.
With cracks throughout the body or mind, a person’s life is still meaningful, even in an alternate state. Every time we visited mom in the nursing home, we created beautiful memories. Snippets of conversations still bring happy tears to my eyes.
Food is no longer served using the familiar dinner plate and weakness surrounds mother’s life. But her spirit comes alive by memories of the past. She receives strength and vitality from the life-giving words we speak, even if she struggles to understand.
After less than five months in a caring nursing home, mother passed away peacefully to her heavenly forever home. Her faith in God kept her inner joy until the end. A single dinner plate with a crack down the middle has its uses–for original purpose or for alternate use. When our lives endure hardships and cracks appear, a joyful heart keeps us strong to fulfill God’s purposes, even in old age.
