Making life-altering decisions. I heard people make over 35,000 decisions a day and 95% of them are unconscious. Even a decision not made becomes a choice that carries a consequence. Decisions have consequences, and all of them are part of life. Looking back on my decisions made over lifetime, I can live in regret while wishing I made a different one. Or allow gratitude in my heart that God protected me along the way.
We make spur-of-the-moment decisions or thoughtful decisions after considering the pros and cons of the results. Even when we choose not to decide about something, it’s still a decision to bring you to another place. You ponder until perhaps buried negative thoughts in your unconscious mind trigger something, results of the decision still linger. You might think about it and later regret that you let it go without considering the consequences of the nondecision.
Spontaneous decisions
Indecision is the worst place to linger for a long time. To make the choice when situations seem uncertain or confusing may lead to fear about the future. When struggling with the decision-making process, perhaps changing your perspective on things might help. Consider the issue from all sides, or through a new picture frame. What will your future look like if you decide not to take the promotion, take the vacation or go through with the move? Or to please people and decide on that basis and not according to your convictions?
When I started, I didn’t engage in a long-term process where I dreamed of becoming a writer. Writing just happened under certain circumstances when I was going through struggles. For backstory, click on the link below.
Now, over ten years later, after the one spontaneous decision to write a book, a novel at that. It made little sense, especially since I had not focused on fiction. The experts tell us to start small—brief articles or stories, but I plunged right into the most tough type of book to write! Later, I expanded my understanding of writing to learn about the difficulty of becoming a writer and a published author. It takes a lot of hard work.
As Christians, some decisions we need to seek God and ask him for wisdom, while other day-to-day practical choices we make based on common sense. Other decisions will have life altering consequences, positive or negative.
If any of you lack wisdom, ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:5 (NIV)
One life altering decision, besides salvation, is choosing a marriage partner. We are free to make our own choices, which may cause good, bad, or indifferent results. By the grace of God, I can say I made the right decision on this issue.
Another life altering decision we make is where we live, or what place we call home. Are we satisfied with the decision we’ve made? In retrospect, we can evaluate the decision. Jobs, careers, family, incomes, church, ministry, or cost of living, etc. are factors that influence where we establish ourselves.
Years ago, when I was teaching a high school careers class, I drew a timeline map on the blackboard as an example of places where we’ve lived. It shocked the students and even me. We can plan our life pathway, but as the scripture says, God establishes it, meaning he may lead us on an alternate route, or he may confirm it. As many young couples, we never planned a life of moves and changes.
In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)
And that’s where we are now as baby boomers. Among all the many moves we’ve made, this last one surprised us because we had not planned it. We moved to southern Ontario from northwestern Ontario, a thousand miles away.
EXCERPT FROM ONE EXPERIENCE OF A DECISION BASED ON CIRCUMSTANCES
When something doesn’t turn out as expected, it’s time to remain in faith and have patience. God is in this, or he is not! Maybe he didn’t want us to move at all? Or was he testing us so see if we would give up our desires, and seek his guidance for more detailed direction?
In the spring of 2017, we felt we needed to sell our big house and downsize to a smaller one. God promises he will give us the desires of our heart. Will I trust him? If we sold our house, and didn’t find another one, would I feel secure? It was a little stressful, but my hope is in the God I’ve believed in all my life. I also needed to trust in my husband’s experience as a realtor, and our own experience of buying and selling homes. We had done this several times before. Dozen or more times. Unknown to us, this was different and would change the trajectory of our lives.
Expecting to know God’s direction has been the lifeline of our Christian life, even as early as teenage years. My husband and I have sought to do God’s will as best as we knew it. Sometimes God guides us, but at other times, he allows us to follow our heart. Though God is in control, he gives us the freedom to choose.
How do we know what God’s direction is? I needed wisdom in my heart. We faced a big decision. We will know his voice if we seek him. Sometimes it’s through a scripture and hearing the inner voice in our spirit to confirm the Word. Or people and places have a way of confirming the situation. Sometimes we just know it’s God’s direction. We have peace about it.
Then there are the circumstances that direct us, which we experienced. We looked at our son’s situation with his separation and the future of his baby daughter. As a family, we made our decision and moved to be near him and our granddaughter to Southern Ontario. The consequences or results of this decision turned out for the best for everyone. Though we considered the move somewhat, it was a quick decision. God, in his grace and mercy, sustained all of us and everything turned out well and we learned to adjust our living preferences. Now, after seven years in a new normal, we look to the future with a joyful heart.
Does God order our steps? Or are we allowed to make our own decisions about where we want to live? I believe he gives us the freedom of choice to do what we think is best for us in the circumstances. There are no wrong choices if we’ve prayed and trusted him to guide us. And even if we don’t, his grace covers us.
Sometimes I wonder what other people think of our decision to leave behind family, friends, house and a simple life in a small town, and move to the largest multimillion populous region in Canada? But that’s not the question? Like Paul in the Bible, we can say we’ve learned to live in want and in plenty, but our contentment is not based on circumstances but on the joy of our heart.
In our golden years, we’ve embarked on a new plan and place and enjoyed the adventure with no regrets. Learned to live in reality and made changes to live differently in the new normal. And we are happy we made the decision to move to a place to be near family. We’ve also been blessed with renewed relationships with extended family and made good friends.
How do you make decisions that could be life-altering? Do you make decisions quickly? Or does it take a long time?
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.
Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)
